Friday, 30 October 2009


Himself shook Tabasco over his Chilli, since I make it mild for the children. The Babe wanted to try it, so he did the adult trick of shaking the capped bottle vaguely over her plate. Satisfied, she took a huge mouthful.

And gagged. Cried. Started to pant. “Is too hot!”

So I passed my hand over her plate to “remove” the spices. “Phew. Thanks Mummy, that’s better!” And she continued to eat.

I shook my hand. Thing Two cried “Careful, Mum, don’t fling the Tabasco on the floor the dog will eat it and get sick!”

Methinks both of them have a little too much imagination…

Monday, 19 October 2009


It ain’t no better, neither.* Apparently I have something called Dry Socket, which I think is Latin for OMFG-IT-HURTS-IT-HURTS-IT-HURTS". I also have an ulcer right on the tip of my tongue, which comes under the header “Kick Me While I’m Down”.

However, I have realised – belatedly, I know – that chocolate could well be included in the “mush” category of food. This is good. Obviously. I have had a slight chocolate addiction ever since I developed hormones and will happily self-medicate with it at a push. Gentle shove. Nudge. Heck, just look at me!

Ally mentioned today that she is also addicted to chocolate. This didn’t surprise me.  I actually assumed all sane, rational women were. Otherwise we wouldn’t be sane or rational.

And especially not sane or rational when in pain. Oh my tooth… gap… hole thingy. I need another Flake to make myself feel better…

*So if a double negative is a positive, a triple negative is… ?**

**This one is here for no reason. I just missed my footnotes. So, how’ve you been?

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Hole Not Whole

So. Anyway. Okay.

This? Became a nightmare of epic proportions. Sadist did try and do that root canal but couldn’t access the front root. So having gone through the whole drilling and pulling out root thing, Sadist had to resort to yanking. Except yanking became breaking, became cutting, became levering, became foot on chair, sweating, shaking hell on Earth.

I thought it was strange when the dental nurse offered me a mirror and a wet cloth afterwards until I looked in the mirror and had to wash bits of gum out of my eyes. Blood everywhere. Bits of shattered tooth and gum everywhere. Texas chainsaw massacre had nothing on me.

I’m living on painkillers and Heinz mush. I have regressed to childhood and am eating tomato soup with white bread soaked in and tinned spaghetti – which is actually pretty yummy. No idea why I grew up and stopped eating them. I’m getting zero sympathy but lots of voyeuristic “show us the hole then, eeuurrggghh that’s gross”.

And I just want to say I told you so. I told you dental work was terrifying. Now do you believe me??

Monday, 5 October 2009

Happy Birthday!

Happy Third Birthday, Munchkin. Love you always.


"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be."
Robert Munsch

Thursday, 1 October 2009

When you grow up

Random adult: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Babe: Bigger.

Random Adult: And what do you want to be when you grow up?
Flower: A princess.
RA: And how do you become a princess?
Flower: Marry a king.
RA: And what do princesses do all day?
Flower: Dance.
RA: Oh. Got this sussed, haven’t you?
Flower: I get to shop too.