Thursday, 23 July 2009


In answer to yesterday’s question – Yes. Yes it is. And here is the proof.


Now okay, it’s almost impossible to see. But if you squint and turn your head sideways you can just see the bruising and swelling on the right (her left). They have no idea if it is actually broken, because of the swelling, but it is possible apparently. Marvellous.

Oh, and this is her “See my smile, Mumma, is orange!”

Now you may notice a slight difference in the tone here, compared to last year’s rather hysterical post. That is because I have decided that my children are totally and utterly clumsy and accident-prone and there is no point getting upset at each and every bump anymore. I have no idea where they get this trait from – it must be Himself’s influence.

In other news, today for dinner we had baked potatoes. I washed and scrubbed them, threw them on a tray and proceeded to merrily stab each one with wilful glee. As you do. Raise arm and swoop down to STAB. And AGAIN. And AGAIN… and oh my that smarts a little, and look I have stabbed my thumb and the knife is stuck tip first in the bone and oh wow that really hurts now….

I am not a klutz.

Glutton for Punishment

“Anyone who decides to sleep in a field of their own free will is crazy”. Seriously.

I have a perfectly nice house. It’s a bit messy, but it has walls and a roof and central heating and a kitchen and wifi and several thousand books. So why did I agree to sleep in a field with sheep baa-ing over the river at me?

I’d say camping was Hell, except at least Hell is warm and dry. The rain was horrific, not least when we were wading through a couple of centimetres of puddle inside!

The dog thought we were loons and every time someone unzipped the “door” he darted out to sit next to the car. “Come on people, you’ve had your joke. I’ll be nice to the kittens if you take me home now.”

And The Babe tripped on a guy rope, fell forward to the next getting a nice rope burn on her throat and bashed her face. Blood everywhere. Today her nose is doubled in size and is bruised all the way up to her eyes. Is it even possible for a child to break their nose?

I have to admit… the tent ended up at the tip this morning. Never, never again.

Not in that tent anyway. I bought a nice new one this afternoon…

Saturday, 18 July 2009

The Last Day…

… of school. And it RAINED! Even the weather is upset. Seven weeks. Oh dear lord. Seven weeks.

As for the rain. It may interest you to know there was some sort of seagull paddling in my street today. No, I don’t leave near the seaside. No, I don’t live near a stream or river. But there was a gull. Paddling. In. The. Street.

I’ve had such a productive few days. I have cleared an old office at work, which was chest high with crap, to turn it into a sitting room. Somewhere for everyone to have lunch, have meetings in comfort, for the kids to play in. I threw away, amongst others, a huge desk, three computers, a laptop, a giant TV, 3 pairs of curtains, about ten miles of assorted wiring, two stereos, sixteen video cassettes, 3000 payslip envelopes, two tents, 150 old price lists, 1997's Argos catalogue, a magazine from 1991.... You get the idea. I did have to chase Himself around to stop him grabbing rubbish and hiding it to keep. Like that magazine from 1991. Seriously. Man, that guy can hoard. If I die first he is going to become one of those men who have to dig through piles of tat just to get to the bed!

Anyway, there is now a lovely empty room, ready to decorate and furnish. Thing One has asked if she and her friends can do it. We give her a budget and just leave her to it. Ha. I said no. She said “The summer holidays start tomorrow. I give it 3 days before you change your mind just to get rid of us”.

I’m already considering it….

Monday, 13 July 2009

Just One More?

One great thing about the End of Year at school is reading reports, attending Award Ceremonies, and all the fun days they plan to reward students for their hard work. (In an ideal world, anyway).

Sometimes I do get a teensy bit put out with the lack of warning given (Hey, come see your kid this week, we don’t care about your childcare or work or whatever, just drop everything and come dance attendance. Oh and whip up a fabulous costume overnight while you are at it, and bake us a dozen fairy cakes….) Cough. Sorry. Bit of bile there.


Here is Thing Two, at a multi-cultural day. We were aiming for the idea in the small insert, and I don’t think we did that badly…. Doesn’t she look great?

Earlier in the week, she’d also participated in a Music Recital. Now, the last time I heard Thing Two play the recorder she was massacring the scales, reaching notes that made the dog come to heel for the first time in his life. It was painful. So at the assembly, I sat gamely, squaring my shoulders, fixing my proud maternal smile in place and prepared to applaud my daughter regardless of what she actually did.

And she blew me away. I couldn’t even take a picture, never mind record it. She played, beautifully, Jazzmania, My Heart Will Go On and Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. My girl. She did so good.

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Brag Post

I don’t do these often but sometimes you just have to! As you know, Thing One was nominated for an award at her school. She was scared and unhappy and so, so heartbroken at leaving her friends to go to Secondary School, but she settled in and made new friends and we are very proud of her.

The school called an assembly today to hand out awards to all the Year Seven’s who had excelled in one form or another. Thing One was awarded….

Drum Roll…..

Positive Attitude to Learning

Yr 7 Achievement in Science

Yr 7 Top Achiever in Maths

Baby, I am so proud of you, and so happy that you are happy.

Sunday, 5 July 2009


A car of mass 900kg has an engine which exerts a force of 450N on the car. How long does the car take to accelerate from 0-10m/s?

Please finish the page, and see me. Detention for anyone who fails to understand and thus doesn’t hand in their homework. I have explained it once, it isn’t my fault if you weren’t listening, now please get on with it.

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Did I Blink?

When did this happen? Seriously? Brushing all the clich├ęs aside about how quickly they grow up, yadda yadda yadda… I swear last time I looked she wasn’t this grown up, nor this beautiful.

alex-june2009 Oh Boy…alex-july2009