I lost my phone! Actually that isn’t as dramatic as it sounds because I lose my phone several times a day. The usual place it’s found is in the car, between the two front seats.
So, I lost my phone just now, had a quick look in the usual places and couldn’t find it. Not in the car. Not on “the side” (1), not in the car, not in my bag. Hmm. Not in the kitchen, not inside The Babe’s push along car or her play handbag. Hmm. Not in the fridge, nor the breadbin. Not in the bathroom cabinet.
Grump. Around this point I lose the will to continue looking. Himself is out so I shout Thing One to ask what my phone number is (2). And I called myself. As you do.
Straight away I heard the phone jingling away (Kate Nash “Foundations” since you ask. And yes, I do ignore the phone calls to sing along sometimes). Oh relief. It’s on my desk! I lift all the paperwork and… no phone. Hmm. Maybe it fell down the back? No. Inside my chair? On the windowsill? Behind the curtain? No? For goodness sake, the phone is really loud, it must be here somewhere.
Oh, you know where it was? You caught on quicker than me then.
Yes. In my pocket. Grrr.
(1) Himself thinks “the side” is hilarious. It refers to absolutely any surface in any room, and could refer to the mantle, a worktop or even a window sill. And yet *I* always know which “side” I mean, as does anyone else who puts things “on the side”. Do you put things “on the side” or do you actually NAME the surfaces?
(2) Oh come on, NO-ONE knows their own mobile telephone number. Most people don’t even know their home number!
P.S. Obnoxious Child (formerly known as Thing One) is smirking and calling me a doofus since I didn’t realise the phone was in my pocket. So I won’t tell you that as she was reading this she asked me “How do you call your own phone?”
Uh. On the landline?