Wheeeee! "I frow the ball up, look mummy, ball... ooh look it's getting bigger". BAM. The football that was thrown straight up obeys gravity, and lands on her upturned staring face.
Of course I wipe the blood away and kiss her better but inside? Inside I'm just giggling and calling her a numpty. Because I'm just that mean. Oh well. Split lip and a quick lesson in Newton's theories.
Just now, she's sprawling on a chair. Then she somehow somersaults off it, and lands on her head. She cries and says "The chair hurt my lips. I wanna go home and make my lips better."
I say, "Sweetie we are home. Are your lips better?"
"Oh. OK. No my lips not better. I wanna go doctor."
"You know, you hurt your lips earlier and they are better now? Your lips are fine."
"Oh. My lips ok? I fall down?"
"No, you never fell down. You're fine."
"Oh. OK. I go play now then."
I am so going to Hell.