Wednesday, 28 January 2009


I'm not allowed to tell you how, but my younger sister has managed to dislocate her shoulder. I'm not allowed to tell that my younger sister - who dropped half her body weight recently, is in kidney failure and is ever so slightly clumsy - sat on a chair and had it collapse underneath her. In a café. With 30 customers watching. Meeting our mother, who nearly had to go and buy new clothes she laughed so hard. (Mum. Depends. Try them...) So I'm not telling you that (you have to pretend instead that I told you was tipsy and at a really cool club, as if she was young and trendy, not over the hill and boring. Got it? Good).

I am allowed to tell you that the doctor thought it was broken so sent her for an x-ray. I am allowed to tell you that the radiographer sat her on a chair and moved her arm to get a good shot. I am allowed to tell you that the arm literally jumped and there was a loud click. My sister's vision faded and a wave of nausea swept over her. The radiographer though, realising that he had just clicked a dislocated joint back into place by accident went as white as a sheet, and backed up behind the safety screen, hand over mouth, muttering prayers. Well, there was audible "oh God, oh God, oh God..."

I did try and tell my sister that the nice radiographer did save her a general anaesthetic and lots of pain, but she is too busy snorting in disgust at "the big girl's blouse" who almost cried at his mistake while she tried to stop herself from "boking" in the corner. (Must be some weird local slang. It means throwing up apparently).

Today is the 5th anniversary of my elder sister's death (love you, Shar, miss you every day). If you heard thunder this morning, it was her falling over and rolling around in laughter in Heaven. This would have made her day... I wonder if she "nudged" the radiographer for a giggle...

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