Cousin (to MIL): Why do you have white powder around the house outside? Have you been vandalised?
MIL: No! It's poison. There are hundreds of sardines here and I hate them.
Where's the nearest river?
MIL (Confused): There's a river just under the next building it goes under the street.
Oh, so then comes under your house?
MIL (Even more confused): No, it goes under and across the road.
Huh? So how do the sardines get in?
MIL (exasperated): What are you talking about? They just walk in. On their feet! There's some in the kitchen, even, it is disgusting! They are inside the walls and all over the floor.
Auntie, show me the sardines, please.
MIL: There! By your foot! Lots of them!
Auntie? That's an ant.
My MIL told me this conversation this evening and I couldn't stop laughing. I did ask what the words were in Polish to see if she had confused two similar words, but she says not (SARDYNKA and MRÓWKA). They both end in "ka" at least, I said. So do at least half the words in Polish MIL told me glumly.