Friday, 31 October 2008

Happy Halloween!

Can you imagine being a pop singer with several hits, being a fashion icon (of sorts), being featured in magazines and on television... and thirty years later being a Halloween costume??

See the pic? We have the pirate and {drum roll} Cyndi Lauper! Twice!


Girls just wanna have fun. Indeed.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Kid Eating habits

Against all my natural inclinations and maternal urgings, I am extremely disappointed that my children have grown up to be... dare I confess? Oh the shame... "healthy eaters". They are all vegetable freaks, and fight over the dish of veggies to eat as leftovers after dinner. If you ask them what they want to eat they range all over the globe; fajitas, curry, chili, lasagne, golabkis, sesame shrimp stir-fry, pierogi, borscht.

What the hell is wrong with a stick of nitrates, otherwise known as "hot-dogs"? They are kids, they should be eating spoonfuls of ketchup sucked from chips - which is classed as two vegetables, and therefore healthy. As a cook, I excel at opening cans. I bought some tinned pasta several months ago, thinking that I had time to teach The Babe proper toddler eating habits before her sisters corrupted her. She won't even consider it. I intend to print a label filled with "ITNG" characters to wrap around the can, hoping to bribe her to eat the damned stuff before it goes out of date.

Himself must shoulder some of the burden for corrupting his children. He has a small "thing" for protein bars (which taste like compressed cardboard teenage male trainer inserts, left for three months then recycled as litter tray lining. Appetising.) and keeps bringing home new varieties and shoving them in my face to try. As if!

Story time though! He came over the other day with an unidentified white slab and waved it about an inch from my eyeball. "Wanna try this???" I recoil in horror by habit. Hell no. Get it away from me! "Too bad," he smirks, walking away with a white chocolate coconut bar. Git.

Saturday, 18 October 2008

Kids on Kids TV

I have a challenge for you. Pick a programme, any children's programme. Turn the sound off and just watch. See if you can guess where that programme was made, here or across the pond. There is an easy way to tell, you know. Look at the children.

Are they little Stepford kids? All bounce and shiny teeth and arms waving and colourful and perfect hair? Are they participating and watching everything avidly as if whichever person hiding in a costume in front of them is the most interesting thing ever!

Or. Are they a bit grey. A bit washed out. Mostly dressed in blue sweatshirts. Staring out of the window in boredom. Absently picking their nose. Pinching the child next to them.

I wonder just which child is the Brit and which child is the Yank??

I was very pleased to catch a Barney episode this week, the one with the pets, with a dog that actually showed a sign of independent intelligence. By which I mean, ears back, eyes rolling, pulling like hell to get away from that damn purple chunk of condescension. Run dog run, don't let them get you into that lab at the Men's Club!

I rather think my dog fancies his chances on one of these TV shows. He certainly demonstrates his acting abilities. He jumped on the sofa today (bad dog!), so The Babe grabbed his paw to pull him down. I gently reprimanded her for possibly hurting the dog, then turned to get him off the furniture. At which he laid his ears back, lifted his paw and licked it, whimpering - all before I'd opened my mouth. Nice one. Even my DOG is a diva.

Finally, because I'm pretty sure you readers in India haven't heard (yes I know you are there! I see you on my stat counter lol. Hi! How are you?) although possibly everyone else in the Northern Hemisphere has. I have another brag. Thing One saw that I had posted about Thing Two and had to go one better. I received a letter from her school today. Apparently my daughter "achieved one of the best overall marks in the 2008 KS2 SAT tests and has been invited to take part in a residential visit to a Gifted and Talented educational centre". Wow. Am so proud I could burst!

Thursday, 16 October 2008


Things I have found recently:

A card bought for a friend's wedding this summer (Hope you had a good day Hon!)

A birthday card written, addressed and stamped but not posted.

An unwrapped baby dress and unwritten new baby card. The child is now at school.

A half finished baby jumper, still on the knitting needles. The baby is 19 years old now.

I swear, I could open a shop with the number of pristine cards, wrapping paper, gift bows and sundries I find in my house. I always MEAN well. I'm organised enough to actually go out and buy the card, showing that I am at least thinking of you, and even write the thing out, but actually walking the 30 yards from my front door to the nearest post-box? Yeah.

I have to admit to stonking black lies now and again... "That damn Post Office must have lost it! Again!" Poor postie, he always gets the blame. All while frantically pulling on shoes and flying out the door to post my niece's card two days late. "It got there a week later? How bizarre! No idea what happened there. Damn Royal Mail!"

My epitaph will be "She meant well..." (with a huge I TOLD YOU I WAS ILL! underneath it). The road to Hell isn't paved with good intentions, but littered with unposted cards.

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Our favourite book (BlogRoll post)

I swear that Lynda has some sort of Machiavellian plan to gag me. Our favourite book? BOOK??? Like, ONE?

Thing One is - thankfully - a big Potter fan, so we swap the entire series back and forth between ourselves. We have two copies of a couple of them (neither of us was willing to wait for the other so we had two copies of DH delivered on publication day) and have managed to wear out GoF entirely. She also loves the current dog craze books, about naughty dogs completing the family, a la Marley and Me. She actually swiped Buster's Diaries when I left it open on the side and hid it in her room. I was not very pleased when I looked for it that night!

Thing One is also a fan of the Classics which is a sheer joy. Black Beauty, Jane Eyre, The Little Princess, The Railway Children, Water Babies, Narnia - it is like the bookcases of my childhood revisited. And I do revisit. She knows where to find her books - on my bedside table!

Thing Two is a huge fan of the Rainbow Magic books, which aren't exactly my cup of tea. However that led logically on to several of my childhood favourites - Enid Blyton's The Wishing Chair and The Enchanted Wood. I may have sneaked a peek at them to enjoy once again Pop biscuits and Mrs Washalot and the Slippery Slip. Ah, they take me back...

Thing Three, aka The Babe has given me the perfect excuse to sink gracefully back into some of my all time favourite books. Dear Zoo, Five Minutes Peace, Hairy MacLary, Room on the Broom, Dr Seuss, Each Peach Pear Plum, Where's Spot. The list is enormous but discovering old friends and making new ones is a pleasure.

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Thing One is waving her hands mysteriously around her head and swaying her body sinuously. No, she isn't dancing. She's left her plate on the table and her first response when I asked her to take it through? "I already did!" So the plate on the table is...? "A hallucination!" Hence the waving her hands, just an inch over the plate "See? I can pass my hands right through it!"


I'm all better from my cold, though, thanks! Sadly, it seems that viruses can pass not just from human to human, not just from human to animal in some cases, but from human to machine. My computer, RIP, has gone and been replaced. Long Live the King! Now I have some super fast thing with dual core blah and terabyte this and some other swish stuff that I'm supposed to care about and just nod my head to. And what will I do with my super fast computer? Well, I'm just waiting for February and the release of.. tada!... the Sims 3! Yes, I know. You are just in awe.

I just need a proud brag, quickly, that Thing Two - who manages to keep her head down enough that she is rarely mentioned here - has been receiving perfect scores at school recently in both maths and literacy. Go Thing Two!

And finally... I received a letter this morning that I need to attend the colposcopy clinic at my earliest convenience. My results have been bad for a couple of years now, and I haven't yet found a way to tell my mum. What?? She worries. Anyway. Sorry, mum. Now you know, though, 'eh? However part of me is all.. two years of bad results. Two years of nasties simmering and stewing. Why on earth haven't I been booked in for a total radical hysterectomy?? And I am not panicking hysterically, not at all, but would you like to do a mastectomy while you are at it??

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Woman flu

I is poorly. My dose is blocked and by sinuses hurd. I hab a cold and I am miserable.

I am so not a good patient. I am - dare I say - almost as bad as a man. Snigger... nah! No woman is ever as bad as a man with their man flu. I am be ill but I still did the grocery shopping, catered a party, hosted a dozen people, cleaned the house, did the laundry, took the Babe to clinic, supervised homework and cooked dinner before falling into bed. When Himself gets the sniffles (sorry, sorry - MANFLU) all he can do is play a million games on the playstation, or sit at his laptop, he is far too ill to actually move.

The problem with the word "cold" is that it just doesn't convey quite the correct level of misery. Is it just the sniffles and a sore throat? Or are you literally unable to lift your head from the pillow without the room spinning? Do you need mother's chicken soup? In Himself's case this is a test. If you want me to make chicken soup you can go get me the ingredients. And if you are fit enough to push a trolley you are certainly fit enough to make the damn soup yourself. You're not sick, you malingerer!

The problem is, with me being a bad patient and him being a man (which essentially means the same thing, 'eh?) we tend to get a bit competitive about which of us has it worst.

"Oh I barely slept a wink, my back aches, my head is sore.. "
"Well you certainly snored well enough all night keeping me awake and I have a headache too but you don't hear me complaining!"
"I'm only snoring because my sinuses are backed up, my whole face hurts and now I have to go to work."
"Yeah, where you'll sit around and drink coffee all day while *I* have real work to do..."

It's never-ending.

In the meantime, I'm sitting here surrounded by crumpled tissues and a cold cup of honey and lemon (ugh). Better get on...

Sunday, 5 October 2008

Happy Birthday Sweetheart


Newborn, less than an hour old


Around 10 months, learning to stand for the first time


This week. Full of mischief and love.