Wednesday, 4 June 2008

On Hols, Hurray!

Entry 1: Ooh, it's like a report from the front lines! Am missing you, Dear Reader! It's ruddy FREEZING here, and all I can do is thank goodness Ally put her size 8s down firmly and stopped Posh from dragging us camping. Can you imagine camping in this? The rain, the wind, the absolute zero temperatures? Ah, British Summer Time, how constant you are.

stormy weather

I woke up with a hangover this morning. Very unfair since I wasn't drinking last night, just shivering and listening to the wind howl. Posh still dragged us to the beach - where even the donkeys cowered behind a shed to try and find some meager shelter.

Apart from the weather, we are having a fabulous time. The toddlers are absolutely adorable. CFKATBFH... (child formerly known as The Babe's Future Husband) has us in absolute hysterics. He is a natural clown, and so charming. Tonight he said his goodnights by holding The Babe's shoulders, gazing soulfully into her eyes before moving in for a kiss. The child has moves at 18 months that put Himself to shame. Sadly, he is "formerly known as" since his older sister has decided that The Babe isn't good enough for him. I thought it was Mothers-in-Law that you had to watch out for, not sisters! Gorgeous, Ally's daughter, is equally charming. She serenades us with "Twinkle, Twinkle" before bashing hiding her face and peeking through her fingers to hear the applause. Adorable!

Entry 2: Started the day in an earthquake. The entire place shook violently. Himself tried to blame a sonic boom from a passing military aircraft, but I have my doubts (looks balefully at windy husband).

Went swimming today, which was a complete washout. Three toddlers, all of whom have swum before, refused point blank to set toe in the water, and clung with fear to their mummies. Shame, because there was a rather super water slide I had my eye on. cream teas

Also visited a rather nice seal sanctuary, which does splendid cream teas, scones the size of your open hand! What do you mean I missed the point? I saw the seals! The cream teas were just more noteworthy.

'Twas Ally's turn to cook tonight - we are all taking turns. (I was last night, and was ever so slightly worried about poisoning everyone. Luckily we are all standing today so any symptoms later will be blamed on Ally). Her daughter, Gorgeous, displayed her own form of OCD for us all. I think all toddlers display some sort of obsessive disorder. We have established The Babe has a Climbing Fixation, and CFKATBFH has an Obsessive Charming Disorder (he hit on Gorgeous tonight, The Babe has been dumped). Gorgeous has an obsessive cleaning disorder, she washed the floors, the surfaces, the cupboards, herself. Then mummy's face, all with the same wipe. Mmmm. (Edit: mummy is wondering why she is spotty this week, hmm, I wonder!)

We also visited an arcade, the old fashioned sort where you win tickets to redeem for prizes. I would never accuse anyone of cheating or of favouritism from up high. But we have spent a considerable sum of money - several pounds at least - to get our tickets. Posh casually rolled a single 10p piece into a random game and hit the jackpot. "Oh, tickets!" she exclaimed, scooping up handfuls of the blessed things. Then to add insult to injury, she did it AGAIN! Hurrumph.

Entry 3: Sun, sea, sand.. what more could you want? Am so tired, we tried to cram everything into today. We've crazy golfed, been to the beach, surfed, Ally built sand-castles, driven go-karts, bounced on trampolines, been to a show, and completely tired ourselves out. Oh - and went to toddler water heaven, a water park with a knee high paddling pool with fountains, showers and splashy stuff galore!

The Himselves excelled themselves today. They went go-karting with Thing One and Thing Two, and were very well mannered until after about a dozen laps when their competitive spirit took over and things got serious. They had to go again, just the three of them, on the track alone. They lined up, and went for it, drag racing each other in typical macho strutting way. I'm sure they all grew a bit extra chest hair out there, the way the testosterone flowed! I'm not pandering to them by telling you who won. Suffice to say that after Himself took pole position, he grew smug and got overtaken. Heh.

Had our first medical emergency today too. Small side track to eleven years ago. Himself took out baby Thing One for the first time, just to the park. She fell out of the swing and cut her head. He picked her up, held her at arms length and ran all the way home - "she's hurt, fix her!" So today, he took Thing One and Thing Two to the park. Thing One hurt herself. He can't really pick her up now, but he still hustled her back to where Ally, Posh, I and the toddlers were enjoying a cuppa and a chat, blood everywhere, staining her trousers, top, shoes, smeared up her arms and across her face. "She's hurt, fix her." Doesn't cope well when his kids are hurt, Himself doesn't.

We are almost finished here, sadly. We are off to the next location tomorrow, where we are all meeting up with several more friends. Hurray!

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