Monday, 17 March 2008

10 vitally important things about me

Hurrumph. Me?? I haven't spoken about me in... ooooo... since 1996 when I fell pregnant with One. That was when I first lost my name, and became "Mum". Seriously, grown women, university trained, suddenly lost their abilities to converse and addressed my stomach with all relevant info, only reluctantly lifting their eyes to mine to ask how "Mum" was feeling. I have no idea, haven't spoken to her today... oh, you mean me?? I'm not a mum, I'm just a kid playing pretend, surely?? I'm not mature enough to take responsibility for a whole 'nother person!

That was (checks calendar) 12 years ago... seriously, why do we count years? It's such a bad thing. The next person who tells me the 80s were three decades ago is going to feel the back of my walking stick, let me tell you.

Ahem.

So, 10 things about me.

1) I don't like counting years.

2) I have a name, my mother gave it to me when I was born, please use it. Don't call me "mum" unless I gave birth to you. And even then, if we are in public and you are tantruming, please address me as "kindly stranger who I have never seen before in my life".

3) I like to read. That possibly doesn't get across the depth of my reading habit. I like to read like you like to breathe*. I do it without conscious thought even. I read ALL the time. I read bus adverts, cereal boxes, and the back of loo roll packets if there is nothing else. It is some sort of compulsion. On the plus side, it is healthier than, say, kleptomania or pyromania. On the negative side, the slight tendency of mine to stray from from bibliophile to bibliomaniac. Which tends to be confronted with "Yeah, I have a few books. And?" from a slightly defensive me. My true desire is to rival the Bodleian, and I'm just practising okay??

4*) I don't actually know the correct spelling of breath and breathe, and always have to look up which is which. You'd think I would know that by now, but I can't seem to absorb it (hah!).

Um.

Oh come on... I must be able to think of 6 more things, surely?? Reading back, I realised I actually forgot to tell you my name. Oops. I'm Donna. So not only am I unable to think of anything interesting to say about myself, but I have lost the few conversational skills I was credited with pre-children. It's no wonder I met most of my best friends online, if you met me in real life I'd be the one sitting in the corner, blowing bubbles with my drool. (Shakes self in disgust).

I shall come back with six more things tomorrow...

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